Once upon a time, about 6 years ago, in a land far far away, similar to Brantford, a girl asked me out on a date.
The stars or planets or universes must’ve been aligned because that shit never, ever happens.
After I got over the initial shock, I accepted, because why the hell shouldn’t I? I was ready to rock!
She picked a nice classy place which was easily accessible for both of us. A nice place with a big ol’ martini list, some fancy foods, and a band later.
The day arrived and I dressed my best. I walked to her house and picked her up. We walked two blocks to the restaurant and went on with what could’ve been an awesome night. I was on my absolute best behavior, paying 100% attention to her, keeping all of my technology gadgets away. Until I realized it. Because I was paying so much attention, I had noticed she was consistently looking past me. Over my shoulder at the door. She was waiting for someone else. As the night went on, the place started filling up. The band was setting up and the joint was becoming less of a restaurant and more of a night bar. That was cool. We relocated over by the bar with our martini’s and let the staff deal with the tables that they needed to move. She was still looking over my shoulder more frequently. It became more and more apparent as the night went on that I was just a decoy.
And true enough, once the place was filled, the person she was actually waiting for showed up. Her limited attention to me was shifted to the other guy in no time. She had fooled me into going on a date so that she wouldn’t be alone when this guy showed up. She used me as the “oh, I’m here with my friend…” line.
I then sat alone at the bar while she mingled with her real target. I paid the bill. I left.
I ran into a few friends on my walk home. They told me I looked like a young Matlock, or Columbo. I can’t remember which. I think it was Columbo. Maybe that was the whole problem.
I tried to let it go as something girls do. We hung out a few times after this horrible event. Completely unrelated, she moved to Toronto. I moved to Toronto a few months after her. I had dinner with her to let her know I had moved and we could likely hang out more often. That was the last time I saw her. Ever.