Beer. The favourite drink of countless high school and college students, as well as people who want or like to be incapacitated. I can't say that I am one of the aforementioned.

A person who wishes to remain unidentified bought a "six-pack" of Labatt Blue (a fine Canadian beer) a few days ago and placed it in my refrigerator. He said that if I wished to have one, he wouldn't mind. I did not have the desire to down a "frosty cold brew" at this point, so I didn't. A few days had passed and tonight, this anonymous person informed me that he would be leaving a bottle of this true Pilsener on the table behind me, and that he would be leaving the room. I acknowledged him with a nod, and then continued on with my activities. After a half hour, certain events caused this person to leave the apartment. The opportunity was at hand. I grabbed the brown bottle and had a sip, and for about one half of a second I didn't notice anything. Then my taste buds started screaming at my brain. "Tell the silly bugger to put that thing down!". It was the most vile, putrid taste I have ever known.

I've heard stories of how beer is not very good tasting, and that liquor is better, but I never knew to what extent this was true (until now). I cannot explain how awful this feeling was other than the fact that I temporarily felt the need to scrub my tongue with sandpaper, or an equally powerful abrasive.

Until now, I never could totally grasp why people drank it, if it was so bad. Now of course, I understand it was just so they could get drunk. Even so, that is not a good enough reason to subject myself to such an awful taste ever again. Now I understand the only reason people drink this is because they are addicted to alcohol, or they were dropped on their head as a child, and cannot taste this equivalent to sewage water. I would certainly rather waste my time drinking varsol, or smoke a joint than have to choke down another beer. After I started drinking the beer, I told people that I talk to on IRC about this. One of them responded with the well thought out "Drink some more and you'll like it, or have a couple more". I'm sure that if I bathed my brain in a few more bottles of beer, I might think it tastes good. I might also think that being beat with a spiked club doesn't hurt all that much, after the first few blows.

In conclusion I find myself thinking that it wouldn't hurt for the beer companies to produce something that tastes good, and for people to find another means of getting wasted, loaded, drunk, or tooled. I also think that something such as beer which doesn't even make me feel good, should be put out of production. I'm not saying that alcohol should be prohibited, just that companies shouldn't be allowed to make such a nasty tasting beverage.

Editor Note (DC): I was dropped on my head as a child. I also drank varsol as a child. I do agree that beer sucks, but I like alcohol. As far as I know I've yet to be considered an alcoholic. So, chacon son gout. Or whatever.

Links of Interest

• Labatt Breweries
• Molson Canada