A recent discussion with a friend has yeilded another new discovery, and I'm excited. It's not everyday, you know, that I find a facet of human behaviour of which I was unaware.

I was recounting the tale of a recent contact with a beautiful young ancillary in one of my hometown's fine eating establishments. I described it as an "undeserved thrill", to which he replied, quite wisely, "those are the best ones." Well, a question sprang to my mind as I half-earnestly muttered my agreement: "WHY?"

It has always been clear to me that people are lazy. If left to their own devices, any person will wish to be left to their own devices, and will expect a rich living in return. This is not a natural trait, but it is certainly a prevalent one among today's humanity, and it makes sense. We are a species that has survived a tortured and brutal infancy through sheer will power, and I believe that, as a race, we are tired. Given the option, any logical person will choose the path of least resistance, although the standards and criteria that guide such a choice will vary from unit to unit. In general, if you are generally human, chances are that you covet most the rewards that come for free. To a degree, I'm certain, this is at the root of the extra sense of pleasure that comes from knowing you were undeserving of a look, a touch, an inheritance, a credit card, a tax refund, an $80.00 '649 victory, or the free muffin you just won when you krolled up your krim.

That, however, is not the full extent of it. There is something else we must remember here. Something that drives us to succeed or to fail, depending on nothing other than luck. We are, whether created by a higher power, multiple ones, a big bang or Tony the Tiger, children of evolution. Up until very recently, we have faced Nature's selection on a daily basis. The weak ones are there to justify the strong, and in the eyes of both alike, the strong are the beautiful people (thanks Friedrich, Marilyn, Charles). In the eyes of a part of each of us, the greatest fate that can befall a human being is to be born into the beautiful people. External beauty is not trivial and the quest for it is not shallow; rather, it is so widely sought because it is of vast importance. Not to a society of logical, reasonable beings, of course, but then, we don't live in one of those, so such arguments are invalid and of no consequence. Beauty, internal and external, rules everything, because it represents survival. Most of us, however, myself included, are not beautiful, and many of us are so far from it that we can barely conceptualize that it exists at all.

It is bred into us all to crave the overt sexual attention of others. After all, such attention begets a feeling of security that is, in many ways, unparalleled. When it comes effortlessly, free of charge, it signifies a reaction to beauty. When it comes from a stranger, one who knows nothing of your inner self, it signifies something more specific: a reaction to external beauty. Your external beauty. Ergo the (excuse the pun) appeal of the undeserved thrill.

There. Now that I've vented, I can explain some things. Many of you, my devoted readers (laugh) (please??) will, at this point, be thinking, "Jesus Christ, what an idiot! How insensetive can you be? I mean, really!" Please understand, I do not advocate human behaviour; I merely analyze it. I do not like human beings. I find them to be weak, underdeveloped, immature, hyperzealous, moronic, cruel, deceitful, fickle and spineless. None of that changes the fact that I have lived among people all of my life. I have had no choice in the matter, and so have gone about catagorizing and cataloguing the curious consistencies of human consciousness (sorry folks; once I started that sentence, I just had to do it. Please don't hate me...). This is observation number 46,273A, if you're interested. The Undeserved Thrill...