The first (and maybe last) Annual PoC Haiku Limerick Rampage Contest

The Purpose:

To make me laugh very hard using a poem of one of these styles;

lim·er·ick (n.)
A light humorous, nonsensical, or bawdy verse of five anapestic lines usually with the rhyme scheme aabba.

hai·ku (n.)
1. A Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.
2. A poem written in this form.

The Rules:

1. It must be about sex, sexual encounters, sexual flaws, etc.
   1. Ok, it doesn't have to be about sex.
2. It must be frigging hilarious. If I don’t laugh, it won’t make the “finalists”
3. All submissions must be sent to poetrysucks@pileofcrap.org, anyplace else aka forums, comments, babble sections or any other email address will be disregarded.
4. I the deciding body of the whole contest will select TEN (10) finalists which will be voted upon by the users of PoC with the trusty polls, so cheating is allowed on the votes and you can get all your friends to come and vote too.
5. Any limerick that starts with “there once was a man from Nantucket…” will be immediately removed from the entry list.
6. You may submit TWO (2) of each type as your personal entry.

The Prize (It's all one big package!):

1. The good shit, you the winner will receive a CD of your choice, maximum value $25US
2. One Pile of Crap mug (high quality!) Approximate value $20US
3. You will also receive one bag (size to be determined by my generosity) of screws.

The Deadlines:

1. All entry poems must be submitted by Friday May 11, 2001 at 11:59.59PM.
2. The finalist list will be posted by Sunday May 13, 2001 at 11:59.59PM
3. Voting shall take place between Monday May 14, 2001 at 12:00.00AM and continue for a period five days only, ending Friday May 18 at 11:59.59PM
4. The winner shall be posted sometime during the next day depending on how drunk I am.
5. The winner will be notified by email and have one week to send back their mailing address and prize selection, failing to comply to the one week deadline will result in the prize being given to the next person in line.

Eligibility:

1. If you can breathe, youÂ’re eligible. I know thatÂ’s pretty restricting, but hey thereÂ’s gotta be some sort of restrictions.

So, start submitting!

poetrysucks@pileofcrap.org

These rules, prizes and deadlines are subject to change at any given time, so check back here frequently. Let all your friends know too. All poetry submitted will must be original work, and youÂ’ll still own your work. All entries will be posted at the end of the contest.

Got it? Good.