You've summed up a lot of what goes on in my own little head, about democracy, morons, too-young-to-be-bitter-ness, lonliness, our youth going bye-bye, the strangeness of your own uniqueness outside of the social pre-requisits while still inside a social construct, the silly philosophers who philosophize about philosophy, and even the damned reluctant acceptance that Elves don't exist, or at least none have been seen, yet.

If I said that you are too young to be bitter, I'd have to be lying. You are scarce. Someone your age is more than likely, as you said, boasting about how they did something last night (a lamp post perhaps) while they were under some form of influence. There is a price that comes with the knowledge you have, and it manifests itself in you as bitterness. Your name, bittercat, does suit you. Imagine, you're in a room with a swath of morons and everyone has a piece of a puzzle tied around their neck. Most others don't pay it any heed, as everyone has one, and it goes unnoticed. The most henious of evils are the benign. The ones that walk around everyday and go seemingly unnoticed. The piece of puzzle itself is not evil. But you have the capcity to go around and put the pieces together. You are also able to interpret what the big picture is, so lets say you're all in a cave and it shows a flood occuring every 10 year. Many people, including you and the few around you that you care about, will suffer in the end unless something is done. Knowing this and feeling as if you have no power to change the outcome, makes you feel bitter.<p>From your personality results, I *know* this will eat at your core; I'm the same personailty type, but an ENFP. NFs are known as Idealists. We're rare too, at a whopping 5% of the population, and that includes all 4 sub-types. There are two types which combine to represent 80% of the world: Artisans and Guardians. Artisans love copping the next feel, experiences thrills, having fun, like those morons your age. Guardians perfer the monotonous stability of unchanging systems, and providing for those under their wing; which is not the same as caring about them; such as the idiots in government and business. Idealists are torn at the heart if they don't go soul searching to understand themselves better, and understand the world: to fix things that are broken or incomplete, help people become more.<p>We're classified into: Healer, Teacher, Champion and the Counselor. I know you're an "I", and definately an "NF", and your test showed you to be a "P", which would mean you are the Healer; to the INFP, healing means mending those divisions that plague one's own private life, and one's relationships. It means treating oneself and relating to others in a conciliatory manner, helping to restore lost unity, integrity or what INFPs call "oneness". These Healers present a tranquil face to the world while inside they are anything but serene, having a capacity for caring not usually found in other types. Healers care deeply, passionately, about a few special persons or favourite causes (finding Atlantis), and their fervent aim is to bring peace to the world and wholeness to themselves and their loved ones. Your bitter reaction is understood. So: how do you want to live your life? To find "oneness", you'll have to do what it takes to make yourself whole before you can make the world whole, I believe. How will you make the world whole, or will you make the world you live in, the one around you, whole? I intented to do the martial arts because I know what good it can do, and if the community around me partakes, and I teach them well, then I help the world they live in. I was bitter, like you, when I was 18. Bitter because I'd been forced to move away from everything that I knew and cared for and planted in the cold plains of the West. I lost my favourite causes, and could not care for those close to me. But I'm heading back. I'm limited my scope to the world I live in, and I'm chosing where I'll live. But that doesn't mean you should, and it doesn't mean you can't change the fate of the world. Politics is one way, but that means walking the walk and talking the talk in hopes of gaining enough legitimate power, or influence, to make the changes. I can think of one man who did this: Gorbachev. He did it. Guess what, he was an Idealist too. He walked the walk of the Communist Party, and talked the talk most of the time too, and when he was fortunate enough to have what he needed to bring about change, he turned himself into the catalyst that brought down the USSR. Had he not been given that chance, he may have lived in vain, so to speak. I choose a smaller realm for influence because I want to succeed. And even at 23, I <b>am</b> still young. I have plenty ahead of me (or so I have to remind myself), and I feel that I cannot keep on going, being bitter. Bitter is one manifestation of your feelings. It can be the fuel behind a driving focus. Finding what to focus on took me 6 years of being in and out of University, being engaged and not having that work out, getting screwed by friends, you name it. Lots of shit. I found a path I want to talk, and I am motivated, I am dedicated, I am on a quest to be my best. You've got a seed, what plant will you grow, and how will you blossom?

I hope all of that doesn't come across as condescending. Er, free shot to my face if it does! (heh heh, little does she know I give everyone a free shot... wait, was that thought outloud?)

Well, I was going to respond in detail to this one, but it seems I was beaten to it. Not that my own response isn't worth reading, but much of it has just been summed up. I am in between you guys, I guess. I have rationalized my way out of bitterness, but still feel the emotion fairly often when I examine what I'm confronted with in the world.

The horror of the Vietnam war, for example, and the deaths of all those innocent people, the sadness of the families who had to deal with the losses of their loved ones, and perhaps most of all, the stomach-churning way in which so many naive, confused young men were used as cannon fodder by their government, and then spat upon by their country and called murderers if they were lucky enough to return alive and unharmed.

The International Olympic Committee's decision to give Bejing the games serves as another example. When I contemplate the lives that will be lost, the atrocities committed, the families broken up and displaced, the detractors tortured and executed, all in the name of preparing for an honour they do not deserve, I feel as though I am going to vomit.

Most of all, the way I see parents treat their children - born and unborn - disgusts me. As far as I'm concerned, no matter what other evils one has committed in their lives, there is nothing more despicable than betraying your own child, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant the way in which it is done. I'm not going to get into religious arguments, but I will say that regardless of whether or not our lineage was created by a God, by nature, by fluke or otherwise, you and I are children of evolution. A process of death and birth and change is constantly taking place. No matter what your religious views, you owe your very life to that process. Your very existance has come as a direct result of it, and it asks only one thing of you in return, as your only duty and responsibility to the force that created YOU: take good care of your children. How can anyone possibly be so evil as to fuck this up? Every single time I see a child mistreated, I become murderously angry. Does society understand? Would it be acceptable for me to seek retribution on behalf of that poor drowned infant, that beaten, abused five year old, or that teenage victim of fetal alcohol syndrome who is just coming to realize that he/she is hated by the brainless masses out there for something that cannot even be helped? NO! Of course not, because society is made up of other people who are guilty. So I'm just left to stew on it all. And best of all, I work next to a planned parenthood clinic, so I get to be constantly reminded of just how incompetant and apathetic the world's youngest parents are - if, that is, they even bother to keep their babies, which is generally way too much of a hassle. After all, we have careers to worry about, don't we? The next upcoming wave of babies is going to be raised by a generation of fools who can't so much as wipe their own asses without external approval and who can barely tie their shoes without assistance. Some of them actually can't tie their shoes without assistance.

So I look at the world and I say, "Good fucking luck. I'll try and be there if you need me, but don't be surprised if it's far to much for little ole me to fix."

These are the things that make me bitter. Note that none of them have to do with my own life. I think there is a very important lesson to be learned here, and possibly the only thing that I am qualified to teach to anyone: nobody ever has the right to complain about anything. Ever. Of course, allowances will be made, and griping and bitching about your life to friends and family are nothing more than means of venting and are therefore perfectly acceptable and harmless. True bitterness, though, the kind that lets you sit and brood on the lower points of your life, will never get you anywhere, nor will it get you respect from an intelligent individual who really values everything they have going for them. I do not think you guilty of this, but be warned, it is an easy cycle to get into. Always try to keep in mind that nobody - NOBODY - is to blame for what has happened in your life. You may not be in control, but you certainly have more control over your own destiny than anyone else does. It is never correct to say that all people are created equal. In fact, no two people are created equal. So is the way of Earth, the way of reality, the way of human life, and the only honourable course is to make the absolute most of everything you have, live to the best of your ability as a happy person free of real bitterness, and die knowing that you have seized every opportunity and made the most of every second. Not only is this the best attitude to have, but it is essentially a requirement of a good life. You owe it. It is your debt, to every single person who has less going for them than you do.

You will find true happiness eventually if you really seek it, as I know I will - we all will - but do not think for one second that it will come to you without assistance. Sometimes it will try and run away, and you'll have to drag it kicking and screaming into your life. Do it anyway. What choice do you have?

Morgan: You say much, my friend, and most of it wise and enlightened, but do not think you are the only person with so much to say!

HAHA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Heheeeeeeeeeeeeeeehooooooooooooooooooooohuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Well... well... my "Muhaha" is bigger than yours! MUWHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

In fact, I find I talk TOO much! Look at all my rants on the site since I started posting, and that's just when I have the time! Now... I must get into a suit and walk with the monkies today: Client Visit

*muwhaha* <-- last laugh, because I need to inflate my ego as I keep on forgetting that html tags don't work in babbles. Speaking of Babbels.... What I need... is a Babel Fish. Then I wouldn't be squinting my eyes at Elven letters every night. Enough stream of conscienceness speak. L33T 5P34K ? NOOOO! Kill the L33T15T5!

it cut my name off! The Two Balloon Baboon !

And if I'm ever down to one balloon, it's, The Uno Balloono Baboono.