American Fucking Idol

Kelly Clarkson, she's actually attractive. I didn't like her after the initial American manufactured Idol, however, I like her newest "single". It's catch and relatively decent. And she's good looking in the video, that counts for something. Right?

Although I don't think being the american idol is worth a damn, if these people were as talented as they make them out to be, they'd have been working their ways up to where they get "voted" (read: marketed) to the top and earning the companies of sponsor millions before being paid only a portion thereof. Aww fuck it. I can't wait for Canadian Fucking Idol. At least some Canadian beaver will be on TV.

Pesta Fucking Side

I am so very very very glad that Toronto passed a ban on pestacide use on non essental usage. I'd like to point out, in my drunken state, that even I, the knower of nothing, am aware that the bugs that eat our grass (not ass) are essential to our very living. I respect them. Scary isn't it? So, all you people who seek out a perfectly green lawn, without a flaw, FUCK YOU (period.) For the first time in my life I touched the green of a golf course, I cringed. The sheer resemblance of grass to that of a synthetic materal scares me. flat, smooth, egad.

I need a sign, let me know you're here.

My Front Lawn

Given a day, a day when I own my own house (why is own and own the same word? I detest english.) I shall grow bushes, shrubbery if you will, of vast quantities. They will be large, they will take over. Nature will be allowed to live in front of my house. I will live with nature. That's where I'll live. 1001 Nature Street. Anybody with me? I won't fear the west nile, SARS, or a drunk driver.

Aceent A Good!

Apparently, to get the girls, you need an accent. I've thought this many times. I thought, what if I faked an accent at a party. A gathering of people I don't know. Would I score? Apparently. Three guys from south africa, yeah, they were nailing the chicks (as far as they could within public view). But it's true. People are highly attracted to "different". Take me for example, I am highly attracted to a person from that very same place. Actually, two of them. You've never met the other one. You need to be diverse, travel a lot, tell a good story. Then, maybe then, the girls will be attracted to you in all your phyiscal unattraciveness.

While private eyes solve marriage lives, because we don't talk for years.

Nothing Else

I've got nothing else. Except this. There are many, many, many, oh so very many, attractive women out there. Some day one will be in my arms and appreciate what I have to offer. But you won't be mine, because I will never own you.