I'm installing Windows' Server 2003 for the first time. (Yes, I know it's 2005, this is why I hate "year" versions.) Yes, it seems that I haven't done anything to stay on top of things in a while, but really, I've had no desire.

So, for lack of artistic writing, I'm going to go through my process.

10:15am: I booted the box, it's naked, nothing on it. That's fair, I look around and see what I'm dealing with. It's an Intel motherboard, an "Entry Server board" S#E7210TP1-E. P4 3.2Ghz, 1024Mb of ram, Two network interfaces (one 100mbps, and one 1000mbps), 80GB "system" disk, and 2x 160GB Serial ATA drives that are to be mirrored. It's also got a nice HP Ultrium tape backup on an Ultra160 SCSI card. Overall It seems nice. Oh, some idiot installed a DVD Writer too. Who puts a DVD Writer in a server? The POST takes forever.

10:20am: I finished playing with the BIOS to see what was in it. It's not very exciting, and actually it took me a minute or two before I could figure out how to 'enable' the RAID for the Serial ATA drives. I'm still not overly impressed with the basic configurability of the motherboard, but this is what I have to deal with. So, Onwards.

10:21am: I stick in the Windows' Server 2003 CD and let it go. The installation process is still the same as old skool Windows and it's familliar. Except for the part where I hit "F8" to accept the license agreement (which I don't really accept, because it's bullshit) I realize that F8 isn't working. Apparently, this new fangled keyboard (It's a Logitech "Office Internet Keyboard") doesn't enable the F-keys by default. This is where I yell out "What the fuck?" I find the 'F-Key' toggle, and then it works. I have to press that button before using the F-Keys? That is stupid.

10:33am: Windows reboots(1) and asks me for my install key. I give it to it three times before it actually accepts it. It carries on. I'm highly depressed now. They gray colours that microsoft presents to me are not uplifting. I'm questioning my ability as an IT Administrator at this point. I think I almost want to hang myself. I'm hoping for the happiness to come after a real boot, but then I realized the happy green grass with blue skies and fluffy clouds is only an XP Thing™. Now I'm even more depressed and I fell a headache coming on.

10:41am: I pop some tylenol while waiting for the installation process to complete.

10:58am: The installation has completed, it's now rebooted(2) and wants me to login. I do so.

10:59am: It's giving me this wizard thing to "configure my server." Alright! progress! Oh wait, no. It can't configure the server because I currently have no network cards setup. Why? I thought Intel was in bed with Microsoft? Why the hell doesn't intel have their drivers included in this crap? Networking technology hasn't changed. I insert the Intel CD, let it install it's network driver, letting it reboot(3) on the way.

11:01am: I left the Intel CD in on reboot. It's running some "Server configuration" now. It didn't tell me this was on the cd, and really, what the hell am I to do with it? This is useless garbage! I have one, entry level server. I don't need this crap!

11:03am: I rebooted and am now returning to the "configure my server" wizard. Yeehaw! It claims it's going to take 30 minutes. It does some stuff. It reboots(4).

11:51am: The configure my server is almost done! I think! Oh wait, it wants disc 2 now.

11:53am: I'm going to go pee now. My coffee has expired.

11:55am: I'm back. The progress bar is at, possibly 30%? Seeing as it doesn't actually say a percent, who really knows. 30 minutes, my ass.

12:00pm: Uh.. It doesn't even look like it's doing anything. Although the HD light is flickering So I decided to write some notes on how I'm actually setting up their network. Might be wise. Besides, apparently I've got time to kill. A Linux installation (from CD) would be done already with one single reboot.

12:02pm: The screensaver kicked in. Default settings rule.

12:07pm: The progress bar is at roughly 40% now. We're on a roll!

12:15pm: It wants disc 3! Progress bar is at about 66%! I can't wait to hit Windows Update!

12:34pm: What the fuck? The "progress" is done. Now it's onto a new step with a new progress bar. Holy shit this is slow. Will it ever finish? This progress bar is the most useless one I have ever seen to date on a Microsoft product.

12:38pm: It wants disc 4! It's gotta be done soon?!

12:42pm: It's done! It's rebooting(5) and told me that in order for my server to be ready I must complete the "To Do" list. How demanding.

12:52pm: It wants me to "configure internet access." When I click it, it bitches at me about not being able to set DHCP settings. Great, I'll have to fix that later. I manually set some stuff, and now I have access. Windows Update time. 41 critical updates. 40 that I can install in one swoop. One will have to wait. 30MB of downloads here I come.

1:17pm: It took 5 minutes to download, the rest to install. Round one of Windows Update is complete. Reboot(6) in progress.

geeknote: On a side note it really makes me wonder what microsoft is tracking with their Windows Update. Network activity, and amount of data retreived and sent far exceeds the "30 MB" that their little tool claims. with random web requests and tracking hits to wustat.windows.com and various other microsoft.com sites... For example, how can an update to my system require it to send over 2.6MB of data? It makes me wonder. I use my linux box to log all activity going in and out to the internet. I can show the entire log of web requests, which was over 230 requests for 40 updates.

1:27pm: Back to the configuration. Windows Update round two. Now there's two updates. But, I thought I only left one behind? Hmm.. That's right. Updates on updates. Throw logic out the window! Don't just send one update that covers the two when you can waste bandwidth and time.

1:31pm: Two updates completed. Reboot(7) on it's way.

1:36pm: It's now over 5 minutes reboot, and now the automatic updates have enabled themselves so I see network traffic going out that I didn't request. Time to enable remote desktop so I can actually start being an Administrator. How convenient, remote desktop was actually enabled by default. That's one point for microsoft so far!

1:42pm: Hahaha; I Opened IE, and Microsoft is blocking content from their own site. Awesome. It appears their new outlook on security is to block everything. Remote desktop is working, and it's actually quite nice.

geeknote: Remote Desktop, by the way, is not a Microsoft innovation. Unix systems have had remote gui capabilities since the get-go, and ATT Labs created VNC technology which is what Remote Desktop highly mimmicks.

1:47pm: Back to the 'To Do' list that Microsoft has given me. First step is to "View Security Best Practices." Stuff about backups, Firewalls, and monitoring for security issues. Stuff that most Administrator should already know about. Now I'm insulted. I was hoping for something "new." I'll mark that as done.

1:48pm: Number two is "Connect to the Internet." As I've mentioned before, the actual message it's giving me is "The wizard cannot set the DHCP scope options. Ensure that the DHCP service is running and that a scope is defined. Alternatively, disable the DHCP service manually, and then configure your client computer address properties. For more information about configuring client computers, see Help and Support." Alright, Uhm... Why isn't "Configure DHCP" step one if it's so important? Joy. I found it. It's not starting the service due to a conflict on my network. Joy. I got it started. Joy. This is exciting, can you tell?

2:03pm: I can finally run the network configuration thing without that error popping up. Apparently I can not use the local server for DNS! How lame. It comes with a built in DNS server that I can't use for internet access. Awesome. It's also bitching that it cannot use the firewall because I'm not using Windows' Server 2003 to control the internet connection directly. One note: who with any piece of intelligence would?

2:07pm: I'm done that wizard, and it's configured. Does it work? Who knows. It's funny, now it sent me to Windows Update to check for updates. Haha Makes me laugh. Anyways, back to the To Do List.

2:09pm: The next is the Remote Access Wizard. I think I'll just skip this, I have no desire for remote access other than Remote Desktop, which is already enabled. Go figure.

2:10pm: Next is "Activate Your Server." Yeehaw! I love product activation.

2:11pm: "Add Client Licenses." Yeehaw. Here's where I laugh at these pieces of paper that have a monitary value higher than my life savings, and are non transferable! I love Microsoft's licensing.

2:19pm: That's done. 20 CALs. Activated and... well, happy is to be determined later. I think I'm actually done. That wasn't so bad. I guess. Although, whether or not it's usable is to be determined. Whether or not it performs adiquately enough. After all, this is far from "ready." All I've done is setup Windows' Server 2003. All the actual productivity shit still has to get going.

2:27pm: I was just looking around and checking out "companyweb" which is Microsoft's idea of a default intranet. It looks ok, but it runs like a slow bitch. Why the hell do they call it "companyweb"? Why is it so slow? Christ, how about we call it the name of the blutty network! Anyways... I also noticed that the Intel CD didn't install the RAID driver, so I still have no RAID. Awesome.

2:42pm: I found the RAID drivers, installed the RAID drivers, installed the RAID manager, and now I have to reboot(8).

2:50pm: Reboots now take 8 minutes. Awesome.

2:55pm: It's now time to format the RAID, and the other partitions. Nap time.

2:59pm: Windows Update (Automatic) just popped up and said there's new updates. I'm not sure if I should be impressed or what. Considering the amount of shit I already downloaded a mere hours ago... Ugh.

I still have to setup Symantec AV Corporate (Yikes!) the backup software, "Yosemite TapeWare XE" (If you're saying what the heck is that, don't worry, I am too.) I have to configure Outlook 2003, and Exchange server (which is installed already) and add a dozen lusers. I have to configure RIS, Setup XP on a dummy workstaiton and image it. Gah, this is why I get paid the big bucks.

To summarize my installation process, 8 reboots, 46 Megabytes of data was transferred when windows only said "30 MB." There were 368 requests sent to and from Microsoft's servers. I think it's a joke. The length of time it takes to get a Windows' Server 2003 box up and usable is rediculous. It should be a one hour "dump and go" process. I guess I've been spoiled by a much simpler and more efficient linux installation process. I predict that by the time I'm actually done configuring the applications on this machine boot time will be in the area of 15 to 20 minutes. That's rediculous. I've said that enough.

What I did like was the Adaptec RAID configuration tool, it's pretty nice (and they support linux, so I might have to support them, but they're a pretty penny.) and the Ultrium tape, although I haven't got it setup yet, I know it's going to work and it's going to be fast. And so it should, because it cost more than the entire server. Funny how I liked the stuff that's 3rd party.

This is long, and I'm done for today.