The Ugly Naked Guy
Sometimes, when I walk around my condo in the buff I wonder if anybody else sees me. Then I wonder if they do and it’s like the ugly naked guy from Friends. If they all huddle by their window to … Continue reading
Author Archives: SmartSsa
Penises
I was going to write something witty and daring, but then I found this picture of a woman who had penises tattooed on her head. So I’ll leave you with that, because I just cannot top it.
Breaking The Habbit
I’m generally not one to sit at home and drink a bottle of wine over a weekend (or one night, whatever). But since my local pub is closed for renovations, my social drinking there has taken a hiatus. Under normal … Continue reading
January 4, 2001
It was the beginning of what was about to become one of the most miserable years of my life. It followed one of the greatest. After a lull in communications between Halloween and Christmas time, the pursuit of the most … Continue reading
I Really Missed Canada’s Wonderland
It’s been four years since I was last there. The year they opened the Behemoth, and that was a “work” trip. I’m not really sure why I stopped going at least once a year. Maybe it was just a lack … Continue reading
In Montréal Like a Baller or an Idiot
I got bored one day so I decided to take a trip to Montréal. It was a pretty good idea and, since I like to consider myself to be somewhat spontaneous, I thought it on the Thursday and left on … Continue reading
That Day I Got Used
Once upon a time, about 6 years ago, in a land far far away, similar to Brantford, a girl asked me out on a date. The stars or planets or universes must’ve been aligned because that shit never, ever happens. … Continue reading
Talking To Girls – A Never Ending Tale of Failure
I’m a bit of a retard when it comes to talking to girls. I was out the other day at a nerdy thing in downtown Toronto and this girl actually started talking to me. This never happens. I was all … Continue reading
Puddle Jumping – The Art Of Not Giving A Fuck
Today, for some unknown reason, I realised that it’s been almost 12 years since I last willingly took part in a good old puddle jumping. And no, I’m not a 16 year old who thought hey, something I did at … Continue reading
Vic Toews Canned Response to stopspying.ca Petitions
Thank you for contacting my office regarding Bill C-30, the Protecting Children from Internet Predators Act. Canada‘s laws currently do not adequately protect Canadians from online exploitation and we think there is widespread agreement that this is a problem. We … Continue reading