It’s October! Pumpkin Spice Blahté

We have a serious pumpkin spice problem.

The simple fact of the matter that we call everything pumpkin spice when pumpkin has no spice is the problem. The pure existence of “pumpkin spice” is the fact that pumpkin itself tastes like the dirt it grew from. It’s a nasty gourd, a winter squash, that nobody has ever loved. Pumpkin spice itself consists generally of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves and the mysterious “allspice”. So in reality, pumpkin spice is just a hodge podge of shit that exists for the pure reason of being able to tolerate a terrible tasting vegetable. (Is it a fruit?)

Yet here we are, sprinkling it on everything. Everything from hot drinks, to generally nice things that already taste good. Can we just, please, cut back a bit? It’s driving me to drink.

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a mindless soul flushed down the toilet
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