10 Reasons I am Not a Vegetarian

My school has been over-run with posters and pamphlets speaking out on the evils of meat-eating. The Veggie Nazis have taken it too far this time; their displays take up space and constrict hallway movement, not to mention, they’re bloody annoying. So, in true me-like fashion, here is a poem:

I like the taste of juicy steak, but thatÂ’s not number one.
ItÂ’s reason number ten, in fact, that eating meat is fun.

Every single thing we do causes death for something else,
So reason number nine is this: IÂ’ll look out for myself.

Drinking milk is good for me and protein in eggs is yum,
And that is reason number eight that vegans are so dumb.

Insecticides on vegetables might kill a bird or two.
Reason number seven is that death for naught is poo.

Reason number six asks: just what would you do,
If there were an animal intent on eating you?

Fields go where forests were, the creatures in them dead,
So that we can grow our vegetables, and save the cows instead.

Four: there are these additives that people test on mice,
Then these lovely chemicals go in to yummy rice.

People just donÂ’t get it, and this is number three:
WhatÂ’s to say a tomato is worth any less than me?

A rooster wouldnÂ’t hesitate (and this is number two)
To take a rather hefty chunk directly out of you.

Nutrition is another thing, and it is number one.
Eating meat is good for me, so now I am quite done.

I do appologize to anyone who is a non-expressive vegetarian; I have no problem with not eating meat [I myself don’t eat pig (and should appologize to anyone I’ve preached at about it)] and this is more aimed at the Veggie Nazis, with their endless posters, and insitance that I am evil. The end