URGENT MESSAGE TO ALL BRANT FAMILIES: The city is infested

There was a piece of paper folded up in my screen door, so I asked my little brother to bring it to me. It was folded so that the outside read: “URGENT! A MESSAGE TO ALL BRANT FAMILIES:” So I unfolded it. The inside reads:

IT IS CRITICAL THAT YOUR M.P. KNOWS WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE ANTI-MARRIAGE BILL C-38!
*The danger is imminent that politicians will force this anti-marriage legislation through a second reading immediately!
*Our greatest Canadian treasure is about to be dumped into the garbage can of history.
*Tampering with the definition of marriage will spell disaster for the moral and social welfare of our country.
*The suicidal rush to fundamentally change a 6,000 year old institution is the canker that will destroy the roots of Canada’s ‘living tree’.
YOUR M.P., MR. LLOYD ST. AMAND MAY BE UNDECIDED ABOUT THIS BILL! ITÂ’S HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO REPRESENT YOU, THE VOTER. CALL OR FAX HIM TODY. TELL HIM TO VOTE NO BEFORE ITÂ’S TOO LATE!

There’s a little box that has ways to reach the M.P. Dude’s office locally, or in Ottawa. And on the back in itsy letters… “THIS FLYER PAID FOR BY CONCERNED CANADIAN PARENTS P.O. BOX 95122, 3210 WESTON RD., TORONTO, ON. M9M 2H0”

So there we have it. I donÂ’t know if this really even needs comment, but I need to rant.
They should put a little disclaimer warning people that it’s a stupid-ass bigoted ‘urgent message’, and then we wouldn’t have bothered opening it. Oh, and speaking of ‘living trees’, how many did these jackasses cut down so that they could stick badly-put-together and idiotic flyers on people’s front doors?
With respect to the actual content…what the hell? The ‘greatest Canadian treasure’ is a 6,000 year-old institution? Is it just me, or is Canada (in terms of a nation) nowhere near that old? Six thousand years puts us in 4000 BC or thereabouts, so…good god, I would like to meet whoever made this and punch them in the head.
Ooh, and do tell us how we want our M.P. to vote, you arrogant, egotistical fuck(s). The reason they have a P.O. Box is probably because they donÂ’t want their house(s) egged by vigilante-types like myself. Not that I would bother; itÂ’s a waste of foodÂ…unless the eggs had already gone bad. >:)
BEFORE ITÂ’S TOO LATE! Lord knows if we donÂ’t hurry those nasty gays will be getting married, and the next thing you know, theyÂ’ll be going on honeymoons and after that, maybe evenÂ… DUN DUN DUNÂ…Sex! And you know what that leads to? Dancing. And then, theyÂ’ll start fornicating in the streets and attacking babies and kicking bunnies and trying to turn the whole world to gaydomÂ…and then, and thenÂ…
HOLY HELL, what are people afraid of? Why would anyone possibly care, ever, if the definition of marriage included same-sex couples? What difference could it possibly make? Gah! I shall be writing them a lovely piece of kindly-worded hate mail, let me tell you, and inviting them not to leave anything at my house ever again. There you have my rantÂ…thanks for letting me vent at you.

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