So, last night, I couldn’t have guessed that I’d be here, now, feeling the way that I do. Part of the sweeping change that I wanted to make in my life involved digging myself out of the ever deepening hole of work I’d got into. Flash forward to last night. I’d billed an average of 15 hours per day for the previous two days, plus doing other non-billable work. I’d had a grand total of 9 hours of sleep in the previous three nights combined. It was midnight. And it was time to start a 20 hour workday. Since then I’ve had 10 minutes of sleep, two meals, four cans of coke and a large tea, and I’ve been working for more than 18 hours. As it turns out the 20 hour figure was an overly optimistic one; it will be more like 25. The good news is that I can afford to slow down a bit now, and maybe catch an hour or two of sleep some time between now and the wee hours of the morning when I’m due to finish. I have about 12 hours of work to do tomorrow, and I have to be here at 9AM, which means leaving my house at 7:20, if I end up bothering to drive home to London at all.

Why am I mentioning all of this? Well, for one thing, it’s so ridiculous that I find it makes me laugh, and so I thought I’d share that with everyone. Mostly, though, I wanted to point out how useful psychology can be. A week and a half ago it would have taken far less than this to make me feel lethargic and sorry for myself. Now I find myself going through hell to make my life work, feeling like absolute shit as a result… and laughing about it. ‘Cause really, I don’t feel sorry at all, except maybe for the fact that I waited this long to get off my ass. Where it all goes from here I’m not exactly sure, but I will work it out as I go along, and now that I know my resolve can match what life throws at me, things just seem a lot easier.

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