Oh, Bell. When Will You Learn?

I emailed Bell Mobility this morning to confirm my account was canceled after I switched to Koodo mid January.

Sure enough, I got an awesome canned response.

Upon full review of your email, I am sorry to learn that you are
considering to deactivate your mobile service with us. We hope to have
demonstrated during your tenure, how much we have appreciated having you
as a client. I want to take this opportunity to inform you that your
account will be cancelled as of February 15, 2009 as our system received
notice of a cancellation and our cancellation policy requires a 30 day

I would like to thank you, Mr. Clarke, for using Bell’s website and for
choosing us as your wireless communications provider. I hope to have
addressed your points and welcome your response if you require further

First, You should be sorry, but it’s not that I’m considering to de-activate my account – it’s because I _have_ deactivated my account. You’re canned response has already failed me.

Second, You hope you demonstrated how much you appreciated having me? No, you didn’t demonstrate shit – that’s why I’m gone. Long gone. I’m just glad that my account is actually canceled and you managed to answer that question. I’m also quite glad that I don’t have to chase you down to get my billing to stop.

Third, You thank me for choosing you? I canceled, adios, I’m outta here. Bye bye! Haha!

Sometimes, I really wish ‘CSR’ employees could actually read these emails and respond accordingly. It’d be nice to have a response that just simply says “Oh, yeah, you’re account is disabled. We’re sorry to see you leave.” without all the additional bullshit fluff.

About SmartSsa

a mindless soul flushed down the toilet
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