October 28, 2000

This was the day that I last got an official hair cut. It’s the last time I ever sat at my old barber’s and waited patiently for the beautiful young girl to give me a hair cut. I never wanted the barber to cut my hair. Always his assistant. She was friendly to me. Kind and gentle with her hands. But I’m sure she did that to all the boys.

The haircut is really irrelevant.

I prepared for a trip to a far away town to visit the girl I spoke of earlier. The communication channels opened up a bit a few weeks prior to this date. We talked a bit about various things and planned that I come visit.

Her ‘stint’ with her new boyfriend ended rapidly. Actually, shortly after her school term started – it ended. I knew that would happen. This was my new chance to hang out, visit, a new last effort to get something going.

But boy, was I ever wrong. Talk about a smoke and mirror show. What was a great Friday and a great Saturday with her and a few of her friends – hours of smiles, laughs, fun and play. A weekend that anybody could walk away from feeling good about. And I did. I felt fantastic.

So fantastic I called and left a message to tell her how much fun it was. Maybe that was my mistake. Maybe that was the threshold of ‘too much pressure.’

After that weekend, communication stopped completely. I thought I was always the one who was scared shitless of getting into something. But now I’m the one who’s scared shitless of scaring away potentially good friends by going one step too far. Apparently that was my mistake.

[ this is a continuation from my random posts a few months ago,
Part One, Part Two, Part Three … ] …

Updated: Read Part Five.

About SmartSsa

a mindless soul flushed down the toilet
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