The Teletubbies Love Triangle (Or Square?)

Ok, lets get things straight here about the way the Teletubbies work. Facts are facts, and thats the way it is.

Lets start out by letting everybody know the gender of each Teletubbie. Po (red) is female, this is evident by the round circle on her head. LaaLaa (yellow) is also female, however she is also Bi-Sexual we know this because her curly thing can easily be changed from a circle to a straight thingy, the easy switch as I call it. Dispy (green) is clearly male. It’s a straight thingy, and its large if ya know what I mean *nudge*. Tinky Winky (purple) is male, but he is gay recent media publicity has made this clear.

Since there are only 4 teletubbies in all of Teletubbie land, you know as good as I do they get lonely. So we know there is gonna be some action in the land of the teletubbies.

Lets analyze it shall we.

Po, the straight female gets it on consentually with Dipsy, but since Dipsy is the only other male in the land, Dispy gets some action from Tinky Winky, which in turn makes Dipsy bi. Dipsy doesn’t necessarily enjoy it, but some times you find love in all the wrong places. Thus being a case of sexual misconduct. LaaLaa being a horny bi-sexual gets boned by Dipsy all the time, and she enjoys it too. But since Po is the only other female, how can one be Bi without having some fun with another of their own gender? Well… its stressful being a tubbie, so Po happily succumbs to LaaLaa’s plee for sexual pleasure with another female. Po and LaaLaa both enjoy this very much. Given the fact that Dipsy probably hates getting it up the butt from Tinky Winky, he most likely puts up some sort of fight leaving Tinky Winky with no other choice but to boink either Po or LaaLaa… However, Tinky Winky can also have the choice to go solo with The NooNoo.

So, after the analysis we come to this scoring system:

  • Po gets it on by Dipsy and Tinky Winky, and goes muff diving with LaaLaa (Score of 3)
  • LaaLaa gets it on with Po, and also gets shagged well by Dipsy and Tinky Winky (Score of 3)
  • Dipsy enjoys it with Po and LaaLaa, sometimes both at the same time, while he is the victim of confused thoughts about love and life when Tinky Winky feels the urge. (score of 3)
  • Tinky Winky bones LaaLaa and Po out of desperation, and asks nicely to give it to Dipsy. However, bringing on the bonus action of The NooNoo, Tinky Winky is easily the luckiest Tubbie of them all. (score of 4) *The Luckiest Tubbie in the Land*

Thanks for reading, feel free to notify all your other perverted and twisted friends about this 🙂

Oh yes, this site is in no way related to the real show, as it is a kids show, and they don’t have sex on the air. Just off stage 😉 All I can really say is that when forced to watch the show for 2 hours at a time, it really helps to think of these types of things…

Watch out soon for TeleDrunkies staring Stinky Winky, Tipsy, BlahBlah, and Joe.

Peace out.

(originally published in 1997)